Our Last Planning Weekend!

As I've mentioned before, Justin and I are getting married next month in Williamsburg, Virginia! Located about 3 1/2 hours from where we live in Durham, North Carolina, it has been both fun and challenging to plan a "destination" wedding. This weekend we traveled there for our final confirmation meetings with the site coordinator/ caterer and florist. My Mom was able to come in for a pre-wedding visit and joined us for the trip. Since she lives in Corpus Christi, Texas, it has been difficult for her to be as involved as we'd both like her to be in the preparations and planning, so it was such a treat to have her here!



I will go ahead and formally announce (though I have been saying it for months) that planning our wedding has definitely instilled in me a newfound appreciation for what goes into such an event. What I've realized, though, is that what has been most challenging (other than staying in budget) has not been things like the dress, venue, or menu. What has been toughest has been attempting to figure out how to keep it personal and reflective of not just our tastes or style, but of our values and the kind of marriage we want to have. I'm not someone who has been planning each detail of her dream wedding since she was six years old, but over the years I've definitely developed an idea of what I wanted. Melding this with Justin's ideas, with our current realities (budget, time, etc) and re-evaluating whether that idea I've held onto for eight years is even something I actually still want has been interesting. Who knew that planning my wedding would lead to new levels of self-discovery and growth?!




It's also been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. While Justin and I do our best to remember each day how privileged we are to be so loved and supported by our friends and family, like most people, we occasionally forget to be as grateful as we should be. The process of choosing the guest list was amazing...the list of people in our support community just grew and grew! How did we come to be surrounded by so many exceptional people? ! And as the RSVPs started coming in, we were so moved by how many people were willing to travel over a holiday weekend to be there on our behalf. "Humbling" is an understatement!

So as we enter this final month before the wedding and finals (who plans their wedding for the weekend before her finals start?!), bear with my sporadic postings! I will do my best to write as often as possible!

A Farewell Dance...

I received some very sad news last night that has been on my mind and I think I should share. It's a reminder to me of how precious and vulnerable our lives and loves really are.

As you know, my friends Brian & Seema were married nine days ago in New Hampshire. Following the amazing weekend, Brian's grandparents, "Grandma & Grandpa D", were driving toward home after flying back to Michigan and were involved in an accident. Both of them suffered relatively minor injuries, although everyone was very concerned about Grandpa D's head injury, which required surgery. Grandma D had a broken ankle, but by the end of last weekend, it sounded like all would be well.

Unfortunately, as often happens as we grow older, a minor injury can become a major problem unexpectedly. Grandma D found herself suddenly short of breath after rising to use the restroom. Days, and several ups and downs later, she passed away Wednesday evening, surrounded by her family.

The image that I cannot get out of my head at the moment is Grandma & Grandpa D at the wedding. Brian and Seema chose to have a "generational dance" where all of the married couples at the reception came together on the dance floor. Every few moments, the DJ would say, "Would all of theose couples married less than 1 (5, 10, 15) year(s) please leave the floor." As the couples dropped off, it became clear that Grandma & Grandpa D were in it for the long haul. At the 50 year mark, there were only two couples left. At 53 years, the other couple dropped and Grandma & Grandpa were named the winners with 55 years of marriage. Afterward, Grandma D said to me in a mischevious whisper, "When it came down to just us & them...it was my cousin and I knew that I had her beat!"



55 years and still in love. Kim told me that, following the accident, both Grandma & Grandpa D said to her seperately that they each had the thought upon impact that their winning dance was their last together. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and the years feel like they are passing so much faster or because I'm getting married next month and can't begin to imagine losing this man that it took me my entire life to find, but my grief for Kim, Brian, Trudy, and especially Grandpa D is profound.

I'm convinced that the most difficult thing about growing older is the depth with which we are forced to recognize the transience, not only of our own existences, but of those that we love. I remember when I was younger feeling afraid and uncertain when I thought of my own death. Now, the fear grips hardest when I think of losing my Mom, or brother & sister, or Justin. When I think of how one errant driver or patch of black ice could make my world dark, it can be difficult to see any light. But I try to remember something that a friend said to me several years ago after I lost a good friend to breast cancer that brought me tremendous comfort. She said that our grief and pain are the reflections, the counterparts, to deep and abiding love, that in the mirror of our loss, we can see the depth of our love, and that love is the only method we have of measuring a life well-lived.

A full life is one where we love and are loved. It's cliche, but true nonetheless. I believe that my success in this life can be quantified only by how much I connect to others, whether they know how much I love them, and how deeply I allow that love to penetrate who I am.

I am so grateful for my community of friends and family. In the wake of my dear friends' loss, I feel compelled to remember how fragile our lives are and to make sure that those I love know it. To the family of Grandma D- I am so sorry for the loss that you've suffered and the grief that you feel, please know that my heart and prayers are with you.

Oh! The Colors!!

As I mentioned in my previous post, Justin and I spent the weekend in New Hampshire for Brian and Seema's wedding. We could not have asked for more beautiful weather or a more fantastic time of year! 

We flew into Manchester late Thursday night and spent the night with Justin's parents in his hometown of Hollis. We took a little time on Friday morning to enjoy the leaves and the vibrant fall produce. Hollis is famous for its apple orchards, so we stopped by Brookdale Farm's farmstand to pick up some local apples and homemade baked goods for the road. I couldn't stop taking pictures!!

Apple season begins in Hollis...

We arrived in Moultonborough around 4:30pm Friday afternoon with just enough time to re-unite with my friend and bridesmaid, Kim (Brian is her brother) before heading over to the Mehendi party. It had been seven years since Kim and I had last seen one another! She and her husband, Scott, along with their their fourteen month old daughter, Avery, live in Alaska, so it was quite a treat to see them!

How absolutely perfect is Avery!?!






On our way to the Mehendi party, this was our view...

The Mehendi party was incredible! This was my first Indian wedding and I am officially smitten with the traditions that accompany such an event! The color! The sparkle! Already my henna is fading and I'm just so sorry to see it go!

Vandana, Seema's sister, getting her henna...


Kim and my henna...


Neha starting Seema's elaborate bridal Henna...

Saturday was the rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner, which was open to everyone. It was our first opportunity to actually go up to Castle in The Clouds...what a view!! From the lawn on which the ceremony was to take place, you had a clear view of all of Lake Winnipesaukee and the surrounding mountains. It was truly breathtaking. 

The trout pond at Castle in the Clouds...


Kim & I


Rehearsing


View from the lawn...


Justin & I stopped for ice cream...this is quintessential New England!


Brian knew that something embarrassing was coming up...he loves being the center of attention, can't you tell?

Sunday was the wedding. And may I just say what a wedding it was! If you have never attended an Indian wedding, you are missing out! To describe it as beautiful or colorful doesn't begin to do it justice...it was brilliant in every way! From Seema's traditional red sari to her elaborate henna to the amazing garlands to the shimmering jewelry worn by all of the Indian women in attendance...brilliant. 

Seema's entrance...




The ceremony...


Married!!!


They busted out some moves on their first dance!




Check out how Seema shimmers!


Avery and Grandpa...


Kim & Scott at sunset...how gorgeous is Kim's sari?!


Neha dancing Indian-style...it was AWESOME!!


Clearly things got wilder as the night progressed...


Seema, sparkling like I've never seen!

Thank you, Brian and Seema, for sharing your day with us and allowing us to be a part of it!