Brace yourselves- there is big news coming! Are you ready?
I'm DOING IT!
That's right. After endless days and nights "bargaining" and what seems like a million and two conversations with Justin, the Mobbs, and my good friend, Meredith, I have officially decided NOT to sit for the bar exam after graduation and to pursue photography instead. Holy Crapp.
So amidst the screaming voices of self doubt and criticism raging in my head, there is this piece of my soul that sits quietly with her hands folded and smiles. She knew I'd get here someday.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
A "Star" is born...
...well, to ME anyway! Holy CRapp- I am sitting here just blown away!! Have you all heard of the uber-talented Jasmine Star? I have just a tiny bit of time, but can I just say this...
SHE DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!!
How 'bout THAT for a sign?
I can't wait to start reading her blog and to find out a little more about her story...
SHE DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!!
How 'bout THAT for a sign?
I can't wait to start reading her blog and to find out a little more about her story...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Stages of Grief?
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote the book, "On Death and Dying." In it, she identified five stages that a dying patient experiences when informed of their terminal prognosis:
* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
* Anger (why is this happening to me?)
* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
* Depression (I don't care anymore)
* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
Lately I have felt as though I have been going through these stages as they apply to my career choice. While I would NEVER make light of the grief experienced by one diagnosed with a terminal illness or who recently lost a loved one, I do think that these emotional stages have been present in my day to day of late, albeit clearly to a lesser degree. My mental dialogue has followed a similar path several times a day of late...
First up is denial: "I can't pursue photography- I'm not a talented, artistic person, I don't know enough, and I am GETTING MY LAW DEGREE!!"
Next is anger: "I hate school. No I don't. Yes, I do. Well, too bad, this is the path YOU chose, Cindy, so now you are stuck with it AND the $100k it cost you! Oh, by the way, you are 30 years old- it's time to suck it up and get your act together!" (The more angry I get, the more I start addressing myself in the third person- yes, I know it's a problem)
Then comes bargaining: "Okay, I will practice law for five years, pay my loans down, and learn everything I can about photography, THEN I will leave the law behind and pursue this thing that awakens my soul." "Well...what if I practiced law part-time and did photography part-time? In a down economy, I'm sure that there are PLENTY of firms who would be happy to hire me on a part-time basis, right?" "No, no, no...practice for five years- you can do it, Cindy- be strong!"
And then I come to depression: "Don't be crazy...I have owned this camera for how many months? I'm not artistic...just face it, Cindy- you are stuck being a lawyer." (insert a big sigh)
The inevitable acceptance often appears as a bedfellow of the depression stage: "So that's that. The law it is."
My problem is that I never stay in depression or acceptance very long...I spend a gigantic amount of time and energy in bargaining. Justin bears my "bargaining" (as well as all the other stages!) like such a champ! He never fails to kiss me and tell me that he wants me to be happy- no matter what I decide to do with my life. (Which sends me right back to the bargaining table!)
I would venture to say that my "problem" is a true privilege- I am not deciding between food and rent here, but rather whether to choose one career path or another
while enjoying the support and encouragement of those that love me!
* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
* Anger (why is this happening to me?)
* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
* Depression (I don't care anymore)
* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
Lately I have felt as though I have been going through these stages as they apply to my career choice. While I would NEVER make light of the grief experienced by one diagnosed with a terminal illness or who recently lost a loved one, I do think that these emotional stages have been present in my day to day of late, albeit clearly to a lesser degree. My mental dialogue has followed a similar path several times a day of late...
First up is denial: "I can't pursue photography- I'm not a talented, artistic person, I don't know enough, and I am GETTING MY LAW DEGREE!!"
Next is anger: "I hate school. No I don't. Yes, I do. Well, too bad, this is the path YOU chose, Cindy, so now you are stuck with it AND the $100k it cost you! Oh, by the way, you are 30 years old- it's time to suck it up and get your act together!" (The more angry I get, the more I start addressing myself in the third person- yes, I know it's a problem)
Then comes bargaining: "Okay, I will practice law for five years, pay my loans down, and learn everything I can about photography, THEN I will leave the law behind and pursue this thing that awakens my soul." "Well...what if I practiced law part-time and did photography part-time? In a down economy, I'm sure that there are PLENTY of firms who would be happy to hire me on a part-time basis, right?" "No, no, no...practice for five years- you can do it, Cindy- be strong!"
And then I come to depression: "Don't be crazy...I have owned this camera for how many months? I'm not artistic...just face it, Cindy- you are stuck being a lawyer." (insert a big sigh)
The inevitable acceptance often appears as a bedfellow of the depression stage: "So that's that. The law it is."
My problem is that I never stay in depression or acceptance very long...I spend a gigantic amount of time and energy in bargaining. Justin bears my "bargaining" (as well as all the other stages!) like such a champ! He never fails to kiss me and tell me that he wants me to be happy- no matter what I decide to do with my life. (Which sends me right back to the bargaining table!)
I would venture to say that my "problem" is a true privilege- I am not deciding between food and rent here, but rather whether to choose one career path or another
while enjoying the support and encouragement of those that love me!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Quick Peek
On Saturday, I had an incredible opportunity to take some maternity photos for friends Tania & Justin. They are expecting their first, Alex, in mere weeks and generously welcomed me into their home to attempt to capture this most precious of times. Words cannot begin to express what an amazing time I had- it was just wonderful! From Tania and Justin's willingness to try anything to the little tiny clothes and shoes, to Bailey, their gorgeous, hilarious dog...I had SUCH a great time and can't wait to start our exciting project when Alex makes his debut!
I'm only about a third of the way through the editing process, but here are a just a few of my favorites thus far...keep an eye out for more soon!
I'm only about a third of the way through the editing process, but here are a just a few of my favorites thus far...keep an eye out for more soon!
1.20.09
What a day!
I was awoken this morning by my adorable husband shaking me and saying, in a voice that allows me to imagine him as a little boy, "It's snowing!! Get up! Let's go look at it!" I love him. And snow. And the collective sigh of relief that comes with the thought, "Snow day." Sure enough, there was nearly an inch on the ground when I awoke and it kept gently falling until just after noon.
Of course, today is no ordinary snow day. Today's snow day allowed me to sit on the couch, snuggled warmly under my treasured hand-crocheted blanket, a huge pot of minestrone soup bubbling away on the stovetop, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Today's snow day allowed me to watch, without interruption, the forty-fourth peaceful passing of power from one leader to the next. To absorb a moment in history that I am sure to tell my grandchildren about. To listen to an articulation of change, sacrifice, and courage that resonated profoundly. To be inspired by my nation's leader for the first time in my life.
Today's snow day seemed to be an undeniable message from the universe: Stop. Look. Remember.
I love the snow.
I was awoken this morning by my adorable husband shaking me and saying, in a voice that allows me to imagine him as a little boy, "It's snowing!! Get up! Let's go look at it!" I love him. And snow. And the collective sigh of relief that comes with the thought, "Snow day." Sure enough, there was nearly an inch on the ground when I awoke and it kept gently falling until just after noon.
Of course, today is no ordinary snow day. Today's snow day allowed me to sit on the couch, snuggled warmly under my treasured hand-crocheted blanket, a huge pot of minestrone soup bubbling away on the stovetop, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Today's snow day allowed me to watch, without interruption, the forty-fourth peaceful passing of power from one leader to the next. To absorb a moment in history that I am sure to tell my grandchildren about. To listen to an articulation of change, sacrifice, and courage that resonated profoundly. To be inspired by my nation's leader for the first time in my life.
Today's snow day seemed to be an undeniable message from the universe: Stop. Look. Remember.
I love the snow.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Bells Are Ringing
I made a passing reference a few posts ago to having photographed some weddings with my with my fabulous wedding photographers, Jen and Gary Mobbs and wanted to share with you what an AMAZING experience it was!! These two have just been so much more enthusiastic and encouraging than I would ever have thought possible! Truly incredible!
I have SOOOOO much to learn and SOOOOO much work to do to get my technical skills (among other things) where I'd like them to be, but Jen and Gary have just been incredible mentors to me and continue to be so patient and willing to answer the million and six questions I have every single time I talk to them. When, shortly before Justin and my wedding, they extended an invitation to shoot behind them at some upcoming weddings, I was just blown away- I mean, seriously, that kind of experience is NOT easy to come by!
At these weddings, it was so wonderful to see the real rapport that they have with their clients and to see what fun they have doing what they do. And they were phenomenal when it came to teaching me- the number of times one of them would say something like, "Ooh ooh! Get in there, Cindy- that would be such a great portfolio shot!" or "Don't worry about us, we can shoot around you- get this experience!" It was just so much more than I could ever have expected! Afterward, they sat down and went through every image that I shot and we talked about what I did right and where I needed to work on things- you can't PAY for this kind of one-on-one teaching (well, you can, but it sure doesn't come cheap!) and I just don't have the words to ever thank them enough for all that they are doing for me! Shout out to the Mobbs!
So on to the weddings!
Jennifer & Jason had a New Years Eve wedding bash in Maryland...it was so much fun! Their ceremony took place in a gorgeous church in Frederick followed by the reception at the amazing Ceresville Mansion. I just love the feeling of receptions in a big, old house like that...they just have SO much character!
Late into the evening, the New Year's Eve regalia came out, as did the guests wild side! So much fun...
Sarah & Ian got married January 3rd at the Wren Chapel on the campus of William & Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was the first time I'd been back to Williamsburg since my own wedding in November and it was admittedly a little nostalgic! Early in our wedding planning I'd actually investigated the Wren Chapel- it is just so beautiful in that spare, federal manner that I love so much about Williamsburg. Alas, a connection to the College is required to use the Chapel, but it was wonderful to see a ceremony take place there! Their reception was held at the William & Mary Alumni House- another stunning venue! Be patient with me, however, as the reception images will be coming soon...I'm still working on them!
Sarah got ready at her grandparents' house, so there was a ton of laughter and family and hairspray squeezed in together...I loved it!
I couldn't stop taking photos of the food....mmmmmm!!
I have SOOOOO much to learn and SOOOOO much work to do to get my technical skills (among other things) where I'd like them to be, but Jen and Gary have just been incredible mentors to me and continue to be so patient and willing to answer the million and six questions I have every single time I talk to them. When, shortly before Justin and my wedding, they extended an invitation to shoot behind them at some upcoming weddings, I was just blown away- I mean, seriously, that kind of experience is NOT easy to come by!
At these weddings, it was so wonderful to see the real rapport that they have with their clients and to see what fun they have doing what they do. And they were phenomenal when it came to teaching me- the number of times one of them would say something like, "Ooh ooh! Get in there, Cindy- that would be such a great portfolio shot!" or "Don't worry about us, we can shoot around you- get this experience!" It was just so much more than I could ever have expected! Afterward, they sat down and went through every image that I shot and we talked about what I did right and where I needed to work on things- you can't PAY for this kind of one-on-one teaching (well, you can, but it sure doesn't come cheap!) and I just don't have the words to ever thank them enough for all that they are doing for me! Shout out to the Mobbs!
So on to the weddings!
Jennifer & Jason had a New Years Eve wedding bash in Maryland...it was so much fun! Their ceremony took place in a gorgeous church in Frederick followed by the reception at the amazing Ceresville Mansion. I just love the feeling of receptions in a big, old house like that...they just have SO much character!
Late into the evening, the New Year's Eve regalia came out, as did the guests wild side! So much fun...
Sarah & Ian got married January 3rd at the Wren Chapel on the campus of William & Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was the first time I'd been back to Williamsburg since my own wedding in November and it was admittedly a little nostalgic! Early in our wedding planning I'd actually investigated the Wren Chapel- it is just so beautiful in that spare, federal manner that I love so much about Williamsburg. Alas, a connection to the College is required to use the Chapel, but it was wonderful to see a ceremony take place there! Their reception was held at the William & Mary Alumni House- another stunning venue! Be patient with me, however, as the reception images will be coming soon...I'm still working on them!
Sarah got ready at her grandparents' house, so there was a ton of laughter and family and hairspray squeezed in together...I loved it!
I couldn't stop taking photos of the food....mmmmmm!!
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